


the sun will rise and we will try again

by black_norse



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grieving, Hurt/Comfort, Set post-5x22, so many hugs and sobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29966376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_norse/pseuds/black_norse
Summary: A continuation of Deke and Daisy's scene in 5x22 plus Deke's reaction to Fitz's death.
Relationships: Deke Shaw & Jemma Simmons, Deke Shaw & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Kudos: 10





	the sun will rise and we will try again

She still can feel the gloominess in the grey hallway she’s walking. Even she already went out of that room, Daisy could still hear their argument. Wandering along the dark hallways in the Lighthouse doesn’t help her clear her mind. She made sure she doesn’t walk past the hallway where Yo-yo and Mack were in to not cause much conflict. As much as she wanted to talk to Simmons, there’s Fitz who’s with her, and she sure doesn’t want to be around him after what happened. She knew May wasn’t in a mood of talking to anybody after breaking that glass of odium intentionally. And Coulson…Daisy doesn’t want to see him lying down in his hospital bed with a tube attached on his nose, not right now. There are so many things in her mind and she cannot process anything. And there’s the new guy who she didn’t expect to be busy amidst the apocalypse.

“Let’s put one of those in every room, if possible. It’ll be useful, trust me.” Deke said to the person in front of him carrying a box full of things before he walked away. “Did you finish fueling up the Zephyr?” he asked Daisy as she approached him.

“Yeah, and the Quinjet. We’ll leave as soon as we get a location.” she replied. “I’m glad you’re taking point here at the Lighthouse.” she looked around with his arms crossed to see all those boxes piled up together on the side of the hallway. “Who better than you to decide what the next generation will look like. Get to show them the ins and outs of this place.”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I’m gonna be around for all that.” he said. Daisy blinked and gave him a questioning look. “I’ll call the mayor and give the tour, but when you get back, I-I think I’ll be out of here.”

“Why?” she asked. Even talking to a guy she doesn’t know that much, Daisy was a bit sad to hear those words coming from his mouth.

Deke pointed his eyes at something behind her. He walked around and stopped by the doorway, held the doorknob. “This is my room.” he opened the door and showed her a messy room. More boxes, some old books piled over each other, first aid kit, old vintage things that can be useful for the future, toys, a box of twinkies which are…really useful for the apocalypse (hunger is important), and a pail of lemons…in Deke’s room. The lemons that were on her bunk the other day? That couldn’t be. Maybe there are just lemons everywhere in the storage room, she thought.

“I’m like a squirrel, hoarding anything I can find.” he said, staring at her. “Also, side note…found a nature book. Learned about squirrels.”

“Old habits die hard.”

“It’s more like I’m a damaged person from a damaged world.” he swallowed and paused for a moment. “If there’s even a chance that could happen again…”

“You’d want to see the world before it does.”

“I mean, besides, according to Fitz, if the world doesn’t crack open and you break the time loop, I’ll just blink out of existence anyway, so it’s just one more vacancy, right?” his voice was filled with a mix of fear and pain hidden with a smile on his face. “I never totally fit in with the gang, anyway.”

“Is that what we are?” she stayed in her position as she witnessed him walking behind her.

“You know, when I first met you guys, I’d never seen anything like that. I’d seen people kill for each other without hesitation all the time, but I’d never seen a group that was willing to die for each other.”

Her heart swelled a bit hearing those words. Those might be true, but the group is on rock bottom.

“Your trust, it just seemed too strong to break.” Deke stared back at her, leaning on the wall with her eyes pointing at somewhere, just to make sure it didn’t look too wet. “And you trying to fix Coulson, that’s great. I love the guy, but if you really want to lead one day, then you got to fix that.” he was implying a point which he isn’t sure if that’s valid for her to hear. He raised a peace sign on both his hand nervously when he received a neutral look from her. “Just my…two cents. I also read a book on idiomatic expressions.”

She looked down on the floor again and sighed heavily. “I don’t even know if I am capable of leading a team. There’s a much better leader out there.” she swallowed. “Coulson relied on me and I don’t even know if I’m going to be able to get through this. Us, we’re a mess right now.” she gazed at him. “If I could have plenty amount of time left, I could take a break and clear my mind, forget about the apocalypse. Why does it have to be now? Right now, I’m talking with you, I could spare the time.”

“Sure, go ahead. I’m listening.” Deke nodded. “It must’ve been so hard for you to experience all of this. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m fine. I will be.” she looked away shortly. “It’s not like this hasn’t happened to me before.” she inhaled, trying to hold on and suppress her tears.

“You’ve gone too much. You lost a lot of your friends, your loved ones. It’s heavy.” he put his hand on her shoulder, she stared at him. “I’ve done a stupid thing before when we first met. I had thoughts before doing that, I- I couldn’t forget it. I thought I was doing it for the people and look what happened to you.”

“It already happened. It can’t be undone.” she shook her head, sliding down the wall and sat on the cold floor with crossed legs. Deke followed suit.

“Yeah, that’s because of me. Kasius attached an inhibitor on you and Fitz had to remove it without telling you.” his voice cracked, he swallowed as he felt the guilt.

“Hey.” she mumbled. “You cannot fully blame yourself for what happened. It’s not just you who did wrong. And I appreciate you opening up with your mistakes. If you’re still on Fitz’s side, I don’t care.”

“I’m not really on his side.” he touched her cold hand. “It’s nice to see my grandpa again, I felt that I still have something to cling to. One day, he knocked me out and I don’t know why. The next thing I woke up, they brought me to that place, I saw you, locked on that table, crying for help while he was standing there. I heard he wasn’t really himself but after that, he seems okay with it.”

“I’m sorry you have to see that side of him. He wasn’t like that before he went into the Framework. Things were good between us before.” she sighed, and still felt the warmness of his hand touching hers. “If I talked all about this with one of them, I don’t even know what they react. I couldn’t hate Simmons for defending him, they love each other and she’s my best friend. Right now, I just feel like no one can trust me.”

“I trust you.” he spoke softly, wiping her tears with his right thumb. “I trust you, Daisy.”

“Are you saying that to lighten up my mood?” Daisy scoffed, pulling away from his hand.

“Well, that’s what I can at least do for you.” he answered. “But I mean it. I’m here for you if you need help with something. I’m not really the comfort type of person but I’ll do what it takes for you to pull a smile over your gloomy face.”

“Oh, Deke.” and she did…she did pull a smile. “Thanks.” she said without buts and leaned her head on his chest for a hug without hesitation. “Sorry, I just need it right now.”

“It’s okay.” he gently stroked her hair and heard loud sniffles coming from her. “You can let it all out.” he moved his hand down and rubbed her back.

“You can stay here with us if you really won’t blink out of existence.” she suggested, still choking with her tears. “You can be an agent, I’ll train you.”

“So that you can order me?” he chuckled lightly.

“Well, yeah. You’re a level one agent.” she snickered. His chuckle got even louder when he heard her snicker.

“I could handle that.”

Daisy felt a bit lighter hugging someone who she isn’t sure if will still gonna exist a few hours later. It was warm and she liked that feeling. At least she got to know more of him before something happens bad later. Loud sniffles turned into a quiet sob that lasted for a few seconds before she pulled away and sat back when she heard footsteps coming. She saw Piper.

“We’re on the move.”

“You spotted him?” Deke asked.

“Where is he?” Daisy immediately stood up and quickly wiped all the tears on her face. She fixed herself and made sure she was ready to move. She pulled Deke’s hand for him to stand up.

“Chicago.” Piper answered.

She took one last glance at Deke, patting on his shoulder. “We’ll be back soon, okay? Stay here.”

“Good luck.” he gave her an assurance look with a nod. The last thing he saw on her was a half-smile before she walked away to fight. He wasn’t sure if she’s gonna make it or the whole team will, but he sure is glad that he spent a precious time with her.

Few hours passed and there was still no sign of him blinking out or his body dusting for slower effect. He just locked himself in his room after doing his part in helping the citizens of Chicago to find their bunkers in the Lighthouse. Deke is on the middle page of his animal encyclopedia learning about monkeys. Might be a nice read before he disappears completely. Still, he has thought about what happened right now, did they make it or not? He did notice the ground shaking but not too strong but that was roughly three hours ago. This shaking wasn’t too strong for an Earth cracking, but he wouldn’t hope that was a good sign.

A few seconds later, he heard a knock on his door. Three knocks, each getting louder. He doesn’t know who it was, he quickly headed towards the door to open it. There she saw…Daisy on his quake suit, white dust all over it and her face covered with blood. Her eyes are wet red and looked a bit dismayed. Deke’s reaction was opposite, he pulled a big smile and was so relieved to see her alive. “Daisy, you’re alive. Did…did you save the world?”

Daisy responded with a nod. “I’m surprised you didn’t blink out.”

“So that means the Earth is cracked?” Deke was confused.

“Nope.” she clarified. “We won, I guess.” she sounded a bit weird like she wasn’t sure of what she’s saying. She wanted to smile but she can’t.

“Woah, how did that happen? So that means my multiverse theory is correct?” he said enthusiastically, cannot take off his grin when he wanted to ask: “That also means FitzSimmons are alive, right?”

Daisy didn’t say a single word. She swallowed nervously, thinking of what she’s got to say. She still didn’t say a word.

“Right?” Deke asked again. This time, his grin faded slowly when he still didn’t receive an answer. “Daisy, is there something you want to tell me?”

“I’m sorry.” she choked on her own tears.

“I- I’m sorry what? I’m confused.” he scoffed, he blinked, and got tensed. “Daisy tell me!! Are they okay?” he spluttered.

“It’s Fitz.” she said it, she said that. “I’m sorry you have to find it this way.”

“What happened to him? Did something bad happen to him? Is he okay?” he kept asking, he wanted to make sure if he’s thinking the right thing, but he doesn’t want to believe. His breathing got faster.

“Mack said the ceiling fell into him and…” she said. _“He’s gone.”_ she was supposed to say that but instead, she pulled him for a tight hug, heard his quiet sobs. “I have a hard time deciding if I was gonna tell you or not, but I don’t want to keep secrets.”

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Things were rough between us but that doesn’t take away the fact that he was a good friend to me, to all of us. He’s still a part of my life, no matter what.”

“Where’s Nana?”

“She’s in the lab where the bag of his corpse was placed. I could take you there if you want.”

Deke nodded. “I want to be there for her.”

Everyone was in the lab, the whole team, while Jemma sat on the hallway bench after making a scene with Mack earlier. Until now, she wasn’t ready to see Fitz inside that black bag. She tried to calm herself down but she still felt heavy even though she cried too much.

“Nana.” she heard Deke’s cracked voice. She looked at him, his face was full of tears, his hair was a mess, and the circles under his eyes were showing.

“I told Daisy not to tell you.”

“It’s okay.” he sat beside her and immediately rubbed her back. “I want to help.”

“No, you don’t need to.” she shook her head. “You don’t need to be part of this.”

“I want to be part of this.” he said. “You’re my family, and Fitz, and I can’t stand seeing you so down. I want to do something for you. Tell me what to do, I can help with upgrading the Zephyr.”

“Don’t tell me you overheard Mack and I talking about that. I feel like nobody would even believe me. What if I was just overthinking? There’s really one Fitz in this timeline and he’s gone now. Tell me I didn’t lose my mind.”

“No, you’re not overthinking. Would I even still appear if that’s the case?” they both gazed at each other. “That means my multiverse theory is correct. We can still find the Fitz that is still out there in space.”

“If that’s possible, I don’t even think the team will believe in our theory.” she sighed heavily and sniffled.

“We’ll explain it to them.” he pressed her cold hand to calm her down.

“I can’t take it or accept it if he’s really gone.” she sobbed. “I don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll find Fitz, okay? I won’t give up on this.” Deke sniffled, pulling her for a tight hug, stroking her gently for comfort.


End file.
